Do You Deserve The Things You Desire?

A Potential Wake Up Call

Some of what I’m about to say could be construed as “tough love” or a direct call to action. In a way, maybe it is that. But usually, I tend towards a gentler style of teaching and will try to continue to do so today, despite what the title of the essay might suggest. So, let’s get right into things.

Do you deserve the things you desire?

At the highest level, the answer is always yes. Really, the word “deserve” ceases to mean anything at the highest level — in the top state, we go beyond what’s “deserved” and what isn’t. In the top state, there’s a sense of perfect and complete fulfillment — all your desires being fulfilled are part of that.

But let’s step back to a more practical, less metaphysical place now and ask the question again: Do you deserve the things you desire? Now the answer depends.

Let’s say you are trying to manifest a new job, and you spend all day every day lamenting that you have to show up and work in a place you hate. You desire a way out of your situation, sure, but you don’t take any steps to change your inner state or way of being.

Knowing that our inner states create our outer conditions — that like attracts like — the answer to our question should be, “No, you don’t deserve your desire.” Note that this isn’t a judgment of what a person is owed or what they deserve on a normal human level (everyone deserves the best of everything in that regard); it’s just a commentary on how the manifestation process works. It’s like saying if you do 2 + 2, you don’t deserve 5. Because that isn’t how math works. You can want 5 more than anything in the world. but if you keep trying to get it by adding two to two, you’re not going to get it, and you don’t “deserve” to get it.

But now I want to take things down even further, to a basic moral level. And I’ll warn you, this is the part of the essay where I might come across as the stern Father figure of manifestation.

People ask my advice regarding many different types of desires. More often than not, the first thing I ask the questioner is to assess whether their desire is “celebratory” or “reactive.” Meaning, do they want the thing that they want because it’d be awesome to experience it and a celebration of life to have that experience, or do they want it because they feel badly and they’ve decided the solution to their troubles is the acquisition of this object or experience?

Following this, we usually talk about releasing and ways you can use the release process to let go of emotional hang-ups. The idea here is that the more emotional issues we can release, the more capable we are of turning a reactive desire into a celebratory one. That alone solves the 2 + 2 = 5 issues. Because like attracts like, if you’re in a negative and emotionally reactive state as pertains to your desire, you’re never going to get the outcome you want out of your practice. By letting go of painful feelings and turning your desire into a celebration of life, you change your inputs and, thus, change the output you’ll get. Simple.

But there’s another reason I approach problems this way.

Morally speaking, does a person who only wants to take from the world and offers nothing in return deserve to have their desires fulfilled?

Though (now more than ever) it might seem like I’m making a value judgment or labeling people as “bad,” I’m not. I’m just raising the question: Is it right for “takers” to be rewarded for their perpetual taking?

You see this a lot in the SP space. People really, really, really want to manifest a relationship with their SP, but they spend almost zero time loving their SP. They focus all their attention on how badly they feel that their SP doesn’t love them and devising ways to win themselves love and approval via their SP. In the most extreme examples, their SP is in another relationship, so they focus not only on winning the love of their SP but also on forcing this third party out of the picture.

That’s really uncool. Plain and simple. To prioritize your wants and needs over the current happiness of another is selfish. I know this will upset people and that I’ll likely lose a bunch of subscribers having written it, but I want to say once again that I’m not calling anyone who has behaved this way in the past a “bad” person.

Here’s what I am advising you to do: Take an honest look at your relationship with the world. Do you seek to take more than you give to it? If you have an SP, is more of your time spent loving them or feeling bad that they don’t love you? If you want a new job, are you thinking about how much you could offer the world or a new company once you find the right fit for yourself, or are you thinking about how much your current job and everyone at it sucks and how much you hate it all?

We want to be givers in this life, not takers.

The beautiful thing about becoming a giver is that it’ll lead to fulfilling all your desires, and you get to feel good while doing it, too. Many people are afraid they lose when they give to others — they feel as if love and goodwill are limited and that if all their time isn’t spent acquiring them (and God forbid if they give any away), they’ll end up with nothing. But that’s not the case.

If you want your desires, feed them with love. Stop focusing on the negative — on what you don’t have that you want — and focus on the positive. Focus on how much you love your SP. Focus on how much you could do for the world if you had 50 million dollars. Even more simply, focus on the impact you can have simply by being nice.

Yeah, seriously — if you spend all your time going out and trying to be genuinely kind to others —even to others who are angry and afraid and anything but nice to you — you’ll be making progress toward your manifestation goals. You’ll be learning to give instead of take.

To he who gives freely, the world is given in return. From he who takes freely, everything is taken.

As always, good luck.