Love Most Those Who Deserve Love Least
We’ll be straight to the point today because the point is an important one.
Very few of us can be said to love at all, in any capacity, because we share love only with those others who deserve love. Sharing love with the deserving, though, is the cheapest and easiest thing anyone can do. It’s no feat to love the people you naturally love, as everyone everywhere does this already without effort. Bragging about loving the people you’re naturally inclined to love — or even just citing this “love” as an example of love or how “loving” a person you are — is like laying in bed all day and then telling everyone how committed you are to health and fitness; rest, after all, is crucial to maintaining one’s health, so it must then be the case that resting all day is a sign of one’s commitment to wellness.
Here is the bottom line: In order to say that we love at all, we must begin to love others in proportion to their undeservingness of love.
It is a tough pill to swallow, but it is the truth. You can’t claim to be loving until you’re willing to love the people who you dislike and who’ve done hurtful/harmful things to you. Or, in other words, we cannot say we love until we choose love in times when choosing love is difficult or doesn’t come naturally.
Let’s clarify this a bit, though…
The “love” we speak of here — the love you should strive to share with all, and most of all with those most “undeserving” of it — is not human love; it’s not the same as “liking a lot,” which is how we often think of love.
We need to strive toward sharing “divine love” with others — and that means simply granting others their beingness with no stipulations and hoping for their own personal enlightenment. Basically, we can say that we love divinely when two things are true:
When we don’t want anything from the other person, whether gross (money, a relationship, material objects) or subtle (wanting approval, acceptance, kind treatment, etc.)
When we want the other person to overcome whatever limitations drive them to badness so that they can find love, joy, and peace.
Everyone’s favorite question when discussing loving those who don’t deserve love is, “Are you saying I should “love” Hitler?” This is a good question that we can rephrase as, “Are you saying we have to love people who hurt others and spread hatred and malice?”
The answer is that you should love these harmful people, Hitler included, divinely, but not with any “human love.” We should pity Hitler immensely; obviously, the man lived a life of immense suffering that drove him to unimaginable levels of rage and hatred for others. He was as limited a human being as ever lived. But again, that is why he needs our divine love. So, using our two-point system, this is how we should approach loving him or any other harmful person:
Do not have any personal desires in regard to the harmful person. Do not “want” Hitler not to hate you, not to persecute you, or even not to kill you. Accept that he is hateful, persecutory, and murderous.
Want the person to overcome whatever painful limitations have driven them to immense badness. Want Hitler to let go of the experiences and pain that’ve driven him to become hateful, persecutory, and murderous.
Note that nowhere in here is there a requirement to “like” the evil person or approve of their evil actions. You shouldn’t like Hitler, and you should do everything in your power to help others avoid the damage caused by his evil.
But again, to disapprove of someone’s evil actions is not to hate them; it’s not to be fearful of them or personally affronted by their actions.
If you encountered a Grizzly bear in the wild and he ate your friend, you wouldn’t hate him for it — you’d understand that the Grizzly bear is violent by nature and you’d accept that; you’d also understand that the Grizzly is violent because he lives in a state of immense limitation where he must kill to survive. You could feel badly that your friend got eaten and simultaneously pity the Grizzly’s condition.
Bad people are no different than Grizzly bears. They need our divine love more than good people do. They are “bad” precisely because they feel cut off from divine love, and they’ll only get worse the more that you hate them.
More and more lately, the only real spiritual “practice” I keep up with is to try and love divinely the people I don’t like. I try and accept them without wanting them to act differently toward me, and I wish them well in their own journey of overcoming limitations and painful experiences.
This has a massive impact on your ability to manifest because it represents a major change in your way of being.
How can you expect the world to be kind to you when you are not kind to the people who need kindness most? How can you expect to be given love and abundance freely when you do not give love to others who need love most?
If you can learn to love and wish well the people who have hurt you most, you won’t have to do anything else. You’ll feel better all the time because you won’t be carrying hatred and pain around everywhere, and you’ll have shifted your consciousness to be resonant with love, forgiveness, and abundant giving. And that, after all, is the point of all manifestation practices — to shift our way of being.
As always, good luck.